Sunday, August 31, 2014

Let's just stop.

There are Moms who do it all. There are Moms who don't do it all. There are Moms who feel like they rule the world. There are Moms who feel like the world runs them. There are Moms who judge each other, but that's another conversation on another day. There are Moms who are self-proclaimed Bad Moms. Self-deprecation is all the rage, y'all. There are Moms who need friends. There are Moms who don't need friends. There are Moms who struggle. With everything. There are Moms who don't want to be Moms. There are Moms who just want to be a Mom. There are Moms.......and on and on and on and on it goes.

How about this? How about we, as women, just BE. Just be yourself. Know thyself. Stop putting a label on it and wearing it like a badge of honor. Just be. And be happy about it. 

I am exhausted by the Super Mom complex. Honestly, being Type A this role is easy for me to slip into, but it comes with lots of issues. It is tiring to hear the Bad Moms proclaim all the things they do wrong, although most of it is very, very funny. My heart hurts for the women who have children and don't know what to do with them. My heart hurts more for the women who yearn for a child and will never have one. These women need to switch lives.  

When do we stop forming sororities, Moms groups, book clubs, and parties in an effort to have a 'support' group for Moms? I don't need to join a group to know who I am!  Most likely, none of us do. When we form these pseudo-support groups - who are we excluding from our not-so-secret club? 

I'll tell you. I was single, and I enjoyed it. I learned who I was because nobody talked to me. Then I was married and I love it. I'm still learning who I am. There is an odd phenomenon when one gets married - suddenly, you are welcomed into this club of women who want to be your friend because you are married but don't necessarily want to talk about being married. Especially don't talk about sex! Then 8 years into marriage, we were both ready to have children and we had one. So far no more, even though I would like a 6 man football team to round things out. Then another odd phenomenon occurs - welcome to the Mommy Club. Ewww. Talking about breastfeeding and body fluids is acceptable, but sex is not? I do not understand. 

Why is the Mommy Club treated like a sorority and Moms must support one another?  And you are excluded if you don't support one another? Mommy Clubs make me sick to my stomach. Why can't I choose to support other people (humans, in general) on my own accord? Why does a MOPS group need to make a video holding up signs encouraging us to support one another? Why is this necessary? Do Moms really need that much validation because "being a Mom is hard"? Yuck. Let's put our lack of self-worth on display and parade it like we are riding a crazy train. Are we changing the world this way?

Honestly, I would much rather be friends with a single woman who has no children than a Mom who needs another Mom to feel better about herself. I feel fine, thank you. I've wanted to be a Mom since I was very young, but never thought it would come true. I have a child who enhances my life. She makes life better each day. So does my husband - my best friend. I'm happy being a mom because I'm happy with myself. Most days. Today. If tomorrow doesn't work, I'll figure it out.

Women. Stop the insanity of prejudice. Stop separating the women of this world into clubs that don't matter. Being a Mom is not hard. Just be a Mom. Just be. Be honest yourself and with one another. Then work on being kind. Especially if you need to put a label on it. Most of all, just share love. The people that share love - open, honest, without condition - are the greatest support group of all.

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